


This Isn’t Love

by MaddieandChimney



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, TW: Domestic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:28:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24319582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: “How do I make you love me again?”Maddie questions her relationship with Doug, not for the first time, in the lead up to her decision to run to her brother.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Doug Kendall
Kudos: 3





	This Isn’t Love

“How do I make you love me again?”

She hated how desperate she sounded, her voice barely a whisper, her eyes refusing to look in the direction of her husband. He didn't speak for a moment, and she wasn't sure if he had heard her - perhaps that was for the best. He hated being questioned, he hated it when she spoke...

Her eyes closed, her fingers curled around the baggy sleeves of the jumper she was wearing in an attempt to cover up the bruises and cuts from last night, and the night before and every night before that for at least the past year. It had always been bad, but since she officially had no one left to run to, everything she did or said, and everything she didn't do or say, ended the same way. With her crying on the floor, and him walking around like nothing had happened.

Suddenly, his fist clenched around her hair, yanking her head back so she was looking up at him. "I do love you, Maddie. I've always loved you and I always will. You just... you just need to do better." Her eyes opened to look into his, void of any emotion, a telling smirk on his face that told her he wasn't done yet. She knew better than to respond, but it was always bubbling inside of her - the defiance that, the last time she had fought back, ended with a two hour long drive to the nearest hospital where neither of them knew anyone.

He'd asked her on the drive home six months ago, if she had learned her lesson and she had nodded, telling him she had. A broken collarbone, two ribs, a concussion and nine stitches later. She had learned her lesson, up until that moment when the words fell from her lips before she could stop them, "You don't love me. This... this isn't right. You don't..." Her breathing was heavy, her heart clenching, the knot in her stomach growing, "H-how is this love? You don't..."

The panic was rising, as she pushed his arm away, and scrambled her way up from the floor, gripping onto the wall for support. "This can't be..." A sob. "No, this... it's not right. This isn't..." She couldn't breathe, he didn't love her, she wasn't even sure she wanted him to love her if this was what it was. She was stuck in a life she never wanted, with a man who constantly reminded her she wasn't good enough.

Between those moments of darkness though, he'd be good. They would dance, laugh, he'd tell her she was beautiful, he'd brag about her openly to his colleagues. Those moments were few and far between but they were all she lived for. She couldn't leave, he'd never let her leave.

The backhand was both expected and a surprise, it came suddenly, without warning but it came so often, she had learned to know it was coming. Her face covered her cheek, she knew it wasn't over, "You never learn, Maddie... I just wish you'd try harder."


End file.
